It’s better not to have to say “I’m sorry”
We finally had a beautiful spring-like weekend in Chicago. I even went for a walk! As you know, every week I share something I learned from my mom and during my walk I meditated on this week’s topic. I wanted to address the somewhat popular saying “It’s better not to have to apologize”. I kept trying to think of situations where my mom had to apologize for something and I honestly couldn’t think of anything. Is it because she strongly believed that it is better not to have to apologize? My mom wasn’t perfect, but she was my perfect mom and I believe every time she disciplined us or raised her voice to make a point, was justified.
I believe every human being is capable of offending even unintentionally! So, be sure to apologize when necessary.
I remember one time I wanted to give my landlord a gift. She was an elderly lady who suffered from many aches and pains and rather than buying flowers or a perfume, I decided to surprise her with a gift that would actually help her relieve some of the pain. I called one of my clients I represent, ordered her gift and had it delivered. I knew she’d love it!!
I ordered a few other things for myself from the same company as well and everything was delivered within days. I started opening all the boxes and inadvertently opened the box addressed to her. I put everything away, threw the empty boxes in the recycling bin and kept on my busy agenda. A couple of days later, she knocked on my door and angrily accused me for committing such a “crime”.
When she said: “Norma, I found this opened box in the garbage can with my name on it, I called the company and they said that you ordered this for me but the box is empty and you never told me about it” I felt so embarrassed! I explained my intention to give her a gift and how I must of opened her box thinking it was mine. No explanation was good enough for her and actually refused to accept the gift. Like her, many people are not willing to forgive others for the mistakes they make and its a shame because they carry resentments and hold grudges for years and years, only affecting themselves.
I love staying connected to my network of JMT members and my friend John Griffin quoted our mentor John Maxwell saying “God’s capacity to forgive is greater than our capacity to sin. You may be a big sinner but Jesus is a bigger savior”. I realize this may not resonate with everyone reading this today, but it would have pertained to mom as she knew God’s love, she knew how to forgive and she knew to be careful not to have to say “I’m sorry”.
Be prepared to have to apologize in one way or another, but most importantly, be prepared to forgive those that offend you. This certainly helps live a life of significance 🙂
Noelia B Roldan
Es increible urgar entre los recuerdos y no poder encontrar situaciones o momentos en los que mamita tuviera que pedirnos perdón, pero así de maravillosa era ella, mujer llena de sabiduría porque su clamor a Dios era su alimento diario, sin duda, una de las grandes enseñanzas de mamá fue la de saber perdonar, sin importar la gravedad del agravio o la falta, y el número de veces que fuera necesario, ella fue la mejor maestra, y cuando he tenido que poner en practica sus enseñanzas, simplemente aumenta mi admiración y amor por ella y por Dios quien es el Gran Maestro, Jesus perdono a sus agresores y a todos nosotros a tal grado de morir en nuestro lugar, eso es Amor!!!
Hay algo curioso que recuerdo y nunca tenia sentido para mi, y para ser honesta, algunas veces aun me cuesta trabajo, el hecho de que a veces tenemos que pedir perdon aun siendo nosotras las ofedidas, con el objeto de poner paz, mi mami decia que la mujer debe ser una mujer sabia y prudente pues somos llamados a ser pacificadores y en la paz que obtenemos con nuestro actos de perdon y nuestras semillas de amor, encontramos la recompensa.
Perdona, ama y busca la paz, y asi sin duda estaras en el camino correcto para seguir las pisadas del Maestro….